Bringing Change Into Your Life

What is change?  The Merriam dictionary defines change as:

Entry Word: change
Function: noun
Text: the act, process, or result of making different <the positive change in our students' attitude toward people who are somehow different was a long and gradual process>
Synonyms alteration, difference, modification, redoing, refashioning, remaking, remodeling, revamping, revise, revision, reworking, variation
Related Words amendment, correction, rectification; conversion, deformation, distortion, metamorphosis, mutation, transfiguration, transformation; fluctuation, oscillation, shift; displacement, replacement, substitution; adjustment, modulation,

So we see from the Merriam dictionary change is a transformation.  A person goes from one state of rest or existence to another state of rest or existence.  Presumably if one has arms, legs, eyes, ears all the rudiments for action one can make a change.  But actually change does not involve the arms, legs, eyes or ears change involves the mind.  After a change has taken place, these appendices may be engaged but they have little to do with an actual change in behavior or thought pattern.  Change involves developing a specific attitude, a specific way of talking, a specific way of walking and a specific way of viewing the world around you.  Change involves seeing yourself at the helm, in command (self visualization), telling yourself and others what you will and will not do.  Change involves concentration, determination and will power.  Change involves engaging the psyche the real you.  For change to take place one must get in touch with the person that is deep within; the person we all call the ‘real you.”   Modifications are made internally then change is seen by the world.  Although the Merriam dictionary defines change it does not tell us how to change.  The dictionary does not tell us how to get from point A to point B successful.  What do we have to do to change a facet of our lives? How is change accomplished?

      In order to make a change you need tools.  You need a set of unique tools that when applied to your psyche you will not only change your thought pattern but you will remain motivated to change regardless of what is occurring around you.  The tools you need to make a change to your psyche are not physical tools they are metaphysical tools.  This point should be made clear it is the essence of change.  Change must take place in the mind before that change can take place in reality.  The tools you use to enforce a change in your life are those tools developed during maturation, adversity and contentment.  Consequently, if you did not develop the necessary tools during these periods you will be deficient when it comes to making changes in your life.  You may have to make adjustments in your life to implant the metaphysical tools you need so that you can make the required changes that you believe you need to make as you progress through life.  Most assuredly these tools can be implanted through reading and rehearsing.  Repetition is vital when seeking to change resistant behaviors, behaviors that have plagued you for a long time.  Just because you are deficient of certain metaphysical tools and did not develop these tools during maturation learning is still possible it just requires a desire supported by an indomitable will.  The world will tell you that there is no indomitable will.  You must resign yourself to whatever comes your way.  Eat, smoke drink and be happy.  How can you possibly make a difference?  You are to finish your days filled with rage thinking how could life be so unfair?  If you look at the lives of Cardinal Mundelein and Nelson Mandela and others men and women cut from the same cloth, you will see indomitable wills are possible even in ordinary circumstances.  Men and women become extraordinary by just saying no and digging in for the backlash. 

     Imagine you are over weight.  You have decided to lose weight.  You are sitting at the lunch table and your girlfriend is eating a Twinkie and she offers you one.  What do you do?  What tool do you use to remain on course to do what you said you were going to do regardless of what is occurring around you?  One of the tools you may use in this situation is determination (developed during adversity). You may call upon your determination to over come your desire for that Twinkie.  The determination will make you recall how you hate going to the dress store not finding anything to wear or how bad you feel when you husband takes you out to dinner and you are afraid to see a baked potato.  Another tool you may call upon is ostracism.  You may decide to find another best girlfriend, one who has your best interest in heart; a best girlfriend that would never offer you a Twinkie to eat.

     Now that we know a substantial part of change involve non physical tools we need to identify these tools so that they can be developed and used when we seek to change.  So our problem now turns into the problem of how do we identify and develop these non physical tools and how can we keep them sharpen for use at all times? 

Seven of the tools we speak of are described in Chapter 13, Preventing Violence Against Women, in Volume Two Part Two, Murder in The Family, of the series Do This In Remembrance of Me. Make certain that you read Murder in The Family, Chapter 13 of the series Do This In Remembrance of Me.  The following is an excerpt from that chapter.

                                                    Chapter  13                                                              

                                Preventing Violence Against Women

 “If you do what you have always done.  You will always be what you have always been.    Pastor T. D. Jakes, 1996

            Now back to our statement that women can reduce 30% of the violence against women.  To bring about this reduction women must do one thing.  Women must change.   Yes there are particular areas where the violence will be reduced but these areas are not the focus of what we are saying.  What we are saying is women must change.   Please read out loud this quote of Pastor T. D. Jakes.   “If you do what you have always done.  You will always be what you have always been.   Say it again.  If you do what you have always done.   You will always be what you have always been.  Now substitute the word I for the word you in the quote.  If I do what I have always done.  I will always be what I have always been.  Do see what we are saying.    Say it again.  If I do what I have always done.   I will always be what I have always been.  We are saying women can reduce the violence against women by 30% if women change.  We are not saying women should make a particular change.  We are saying women must change.   In order to prevent violence against women, women must CHANGE.  Women must evolve.

          Now many of you are saying this statement is ludicrous.  How are we to change?  What are we to change?   A person cannot change unless he or she knows what they are going to change about themselves.  These people sound stupid.  They say 30% of the violence against women can be reduced if women change but they don’t say what areas women are to change.    We say women must change.  We can provide you with a list of situations that will be improved when you change.  But these situations will be the result of your change.   If we said to you, you must loose weight, that would be acceptable because you feel weight is one of the problems you have.  If we said to you, you need to wear more make up that would also be acceptable because you may feel you could be more attractive using makeup.  But when we say you must change you because agitated.  You are not comfortable.   You are in unfamiliar territory.  The scope is too broad you do not feel sure of yourself.  Things must stay the same with just a little modification.  To go beyond normal modifications is uncomfortable.     

No one just changes.  Who changes themselves on command?  Changes are made incrementally small adjustments over time.   Everywhere you look there are crutches to change.  If you want to stop smoking purchase a nicotine gum.  If you want to lose weight purchase a diet supplement.   People are taught they have to use something outside them selves to aid them in changing.  In other words people cannot change without the help of someone else or something else.   People are impeded from changing because they are conditioned to believe changing is difficult based on someone else’s experience and our failures are reinforced in comparison.    But when mankind is faced with danger mankind changes.  Danger is now staring women of this country in the face and women must change.   Children are being abducted from their homes.  Children are being abducted while playing and the sex offenders are not afraid of being caught.  What we are saying is note your behavior and change.    Once you grasp this concept then you will understand what we mean when we say women must change.   When this country went to war with Japan and Germany, women changed.  They stepped up to the plate and changed.  The country was at war so women changed. Our children are now endangered so women must change.

      Consider this – there are men sitting and watching and waiting to see what women do everyday.  There are men who sit and watch what women do with media information and there will be men watching what women will do after reading this book.  Many of you may say that’s ok.  We expect men to question our view and we expect men to be interested in what women think.  And we expect them to wonder what we will do after reading this book.   Fine!   Everything is going well.  But consider this.  The men who are sitting and watching and waiting to see what women do every day or what women will do after reading this book are sexual predators, murderers and rapists.   Now what is your response?  Oh, your response is “What do sexual predators care what women do?   Sexual predators vote. 

      Not all sexual predators are in prison.  There are sexual predators in all walks of life.  Who do you think are the consumers of the young children and foreign women exploited in this country?    These men are sitting quietly watching what women do.  They know more about what women do than you do.  Sexual predators have one goal and that is the humiliation of women.  Anything that impedes that goal has to be thwarted.  They are watchers of women.   Now we have a question for you.  How many rapist, molesters and sexual predators do you think are living in this country?   Do you have any idea?   What if we say there are well over 3 million sexual abusers in this country?  Now what is your response?  We are not talking about batterers we say there are over 3 million sexual abusers in this country and they are not all incarcerated.  In Volume Three, The Career Rapist, we are going to prove to you that not all sexual predators are in prison many are living next door to you and some of them are living in your home.       

           What better way to impede the progress of women than voting against women?  Women are being murdered in this country every day and all we are saying to reduce the violence against women is women must change.    Unless you want to find yourself in a wooded area with a man standing over you shoving his penis down your throat then you must change.  Do not delude yourself thinking these things happen to somebody else.  This book listed 2,125 somebody elses’ in the list of the dead.  Murder can happen to any woman, anywhere, at any time.    Murder can happen to all women.  You must change.   Did it not occur to you that rapists and sexual offenders vote they can also be jurors?  These men are only excluded from voting if the laws of their states specify the crime for voter exclusion.

Changing is a form of standing up. 

               When a magazine says blondes have more fun, you dye your hair blonde.  But you will not change for the women in this country. 

                When you are told there is a hip night-spot in town, you flock there in droves.   But you will not change for the women in this country. 

               When you’re told you look younger with a particular hairstyle, you spend hundreds of dollars at the beauty salon. But you will not change for the women in this country. 

                When your girlfriend tells your St. Stephens is a church filled with bachelors, you go to church every Sunday and twice during the week.  But you will not change for the women in this country. 

                 When the television ad tells you good times are happening in Florida, you book passage on the first flight out.  But you will not change for the women in this country. 

                  When the magazine cover tells you within the pages are ten secrets to sexual success, you purchase every copy.  But you will not change for the women in this country. 

                   When friend tells you you look marvelous in teal, you spend your entire paycheck on blue sweaters.  But you will not change for the women in this country. 

                   When you learn the heaviest band is coming to town, you hang out at the park until the gates opens.  But you will not change for the women in this country.  

                   When you learn everyone who is anyone is attending a $1,500 plate dinner, you max your credit cards just to attend.  But you will not change for the women in this country. 

                   When you learn your sorority is having an affair, you dump your children off with the first babysitter you can find so you could attend the affair.  But you will not change for the women in this country. 

                    When you learn only the fashionable people live on such and such a street, you press you husband to work two jobs so you can move.  But you will not change for the women in this country. 

                    When you learn from the magazine eating grapefruits help women lose weigh, you invest all you money in citrus commodities.   But you will not change for the women in this country.   

                    When television told you Luke and Laura were getting married, you went out and charged a wide screen television.  But you will not change for the women in this country

                 When you learned Europe has a new cosmetic to get rid of crowfeet, you lay your money down.  But you will not change for the women of this country. 

                 When a man says you look good, five minutes later you have your son call him DADDY but you will not change for the women of this country.

To solve the problem of violence against women, women must change.  Thinking about change is not change.  Wanting to change is not change.   Planning on changing is not change.   Women must change.  “Change is not change until you have changed.”   Dr. Creflo Dollar, 1994